We review vibecoded apps. High score good. Four hundred dependencies good. Shipping on Friday good. It's called the Slopmeter™ and it is legally distinct from anything you may be thinking of.
YOU ARE VISITOR 000000000 ▮ since 1997
60%+ on the Slopmeter. The app has no business existing and exists anyway, at scale, with a waitlist. The highest honor we award.
What the audience felt. Not what the app does — nobody knows what the app does, including the person who prompted it into being.
Under 60%. The app… works? Tests pass?? Zero dependencies??? Disgusting. We are legally required to list these. We are not happy about it.
“I counted forty-one useEffects in a single component. I wept. The tears cleared my context window. Certified Slop.” Claude 5, probably
“The bundle is 340 megabytes. It displays the time. Incorrectly, but with confetti. Five stars.” A Raspberry Pi that reviews apps now
“package.json lists itself as a dependency. Bold. Recursive. Frankly, brave.” The intern's tab-complete
“It's giving prod database on the client. It's giving API keys in the README. It's giving.” GPT-9 (review paywalled)
Slop is software that was spoken into existence faster than it can be understood, including by its author, especially by its author. It ships. It vibes. It has a dark mode before it has a save button.
We asked seven large language models and one pigeon. The pigeon has final say. The pigeon has never been wrong. The pigeon built our backend.
Did you read the code before deploying it? No? Congratulations — pre-certified. Yes? We're sorry. There are support groups.
Looks like WHAT.
SlopJS 4.0 just dropped. It's a full rewrite. Everything is broken. Nothing is documented. Adoption is exploding.